As part of a lifestyle and aging series, we’re working with renowned photographer Terry Lorant to showcase inspirational leaders in the industry. Each month, we’ll feature an inspirational member of the Amazing Care Network community who is using his or her voice to empower others in the collective aging experience — and read, in their own words, what the Amazing Care Network’s efforts mean to them.

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Laurie Jurado: I have thought about death as early as I can remember. My brother and I would test death. One way was to ride our bicycles with eyes closed, arms out, waiting for the outcome at the four-way stop at the bottom of the hill. We were wild and constantly testing our boundaries on this earth.

I use to visit a neighbor as a child. He was an invalid and very old. I would feed him ice cream as we looked out the window. He would cry. He could not speak but I always thought he cried because I was the only person who came to visit him just because I wanted to. My heart was heavy for him and for knowing that I could be looking at my own future.

I am the middle child of four. My mother was a single parent and worked two jobs. At around eight, my siblings and I agreed my mother would be my responsibility. In my middle fifties, I moved back home to take care of her. Caregivers came during the day but she had a lonely and isolating existence due to her health. She eventually ended up in a skilled nursing facility where lived for another six years before dying. She was so smart. So worthy of living out her life with care, attention and love, but that did not happen. One of the greatest tragedies in life is to have your body refuse to give up when your heart and mind are ready to go.

I saw unbearable sadness during my mother’s stay at the facility. There was a long corridor to walk before reaching my mother’s room. On the way, I would reach out and touch the patients lined up along the walls. Many of them would pull me close, kiss my hand or rub my hand against their cheeks, anything to be touched and keep me near.

I plan on being in control of the end of my life. I do not plan on going to a facility. As much as extended family and friends may love me, they may or may not be there when I need them. Things happen. I will make the decision when to go. Timing is the challenge. I don’t want to die before I am ready, yet waiting too long can put me past the time I can control the outcome.

Amazing Care Network has come to me at a perfect time in my life. The Teas have provided me an opportunity to discuss the end of life process in an atmosphere that embraces the reality of our journey on earth. Each Tea has left me with a new book to read, an article to act on, contact information, and a formula for owning this time in my life. Some of the things I have learned are as simple and profound as remembering to say to loved ones, “I love you. Please forgive me. I forgive you.”

ACN provides an opportunity to create an asset base that I can draw upon when I choose. There is a Physician Friend of the Family that can be contacted to help walk through a medical issue.

ACN will be sought out by people as a way of managing their life as they get older. It is a class in knowledge, grace and reality. The network will grow and expand, providing us with opportunities to reach out to other people and share our stories. I may find others similar to me who have different views than mine and maybe we both will learn something new.

Like Woody Allen said, “I don’t mind dying, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.” Me either.